Stream The Last American Virgin Movie Online

February 9th, 2010 by yaritza5258842
Stream The Last American Virgin Movie Online. Stream The Last American Virgin Movie Online.

Movie Title: The Last American Virgin
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The Last American Virgin is available for streaming or downloading.

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You may have thought that “The Last American Virgin” would be just another movie about randy kids hoping to grow up too fast. If you saw this film in the theaters or on HBO, your opinion was surely changed. Browse these heartfelt positive reviews, then note the price that this hard-to-find video is fetching. People are pining to have this movie released on DVD. It’s because “The Last American Virgin” is the rare Hollywood release that made a deep impact on anyone who watched it. It starts with with the hijinks of three guys in high school who want to get laid: The Nice Guy, The Selfish Romeo, and The Chubby Clown. And there are some big laughs in store. I especially liked the gag where they convince some naive girls that they have cocaine, and try to fool them with Sugar Twin! Some of their antics are downright silly, but it only makes things more interesting, once the serious storyline begins to play out. This happens when a new girl (played by Diane Franklin, who became imbedded in the psyche of the young male of the 80s) moves to town. The Nice Guy falls for her, even as she falls for The Romeo. Even back in 1982, Hollywood endings were all that any moviegoer could expect. What we got in this picture, was nothing but a shock!
In the theater where I first saw the movie, the ending got an audible gasp of horror out of the audience. And nothing happened that would gross anyone out… The filmmaker simply let the truth be shown, and after all the frivolity of the film’s first hour, it hit with the impact of an 80-pound anchor dropped from a ten-story window! As The Nice Guy drove off into the night with tears rolling down his face, and as the credits rolled, I remember hearing one girl in the theater call out, “That’s messed up!” What was it about this movie, that made it so troubling, and yet so loved? One reviewer said this movie was the ultimate Guy movie; another said it’s the last movie on Earth to see with a date. But this movie touched gals and guys. Its sudden and stunning dose of reality was a real wake-up call. For me, it was the whole Nice Guy syndrome: I’ve cried those same tears. But this movie has something for anyone who has felt the pain of going about Love all wrong. And I think some people (who had forgotten some of what it was like, to be the Nice One who was made a fool; or the Selfish One who hurt someone innocent; or the Shallow One who threw away a good chance at love) were made to remember, and I think it hurt them and made them uncomfortable in a big way. “The Last American Virgin” was unique for its times: deliriously funny, brutally honest, and, ultimately, very sobering. This well-acted story deserves to be showcased on DVD. And, yes, it has a “killer” soundtrack!

In the first film class I ever taught I screened “The Last American Virgin” and learned the valuable lesson that showing a movie that inflames viewers is always going to be productive to class discussion. What my students found so offensive was the idea that there were boys in this country that were taking girls to see this film. That was probably a bit far fetched simply because this 1982 film would be one of the worst date movies ever made; watch this film and imagine that you are a sixteen year old girl on a date seeing this film and think about what thoughts about boys in general it inspires.

That is not to say that this film written and directed by Boaz Davidson is not without value. The story starts off as another one of those films where three friends, nice guy Gary (Lawrence Monoson), study Rick (Steve Antin), and fat guy David (Joe Rubbo) are interesting in having sex. Towards this end they pick up some girls with promises of cocaine (it is really Sweet ‘n’ Low), visit an overly amorous woman whose boyfriend comes home early, and finally go to a prostitute who gives them venereal disease. What I found fascinating about this film was what “lessons” it taught its viewers; for example, did you know that “crabs” can be cured by the chlorine in a swimming pool?

But then the film turns out to be about a love triangle. Gary loves Karen (Diane Franklin), pure and chaste from afar. Of course, Karen only has eyes for Rick. That is until she discovers she is pregnant and Rick dumps her. That is when “The Last American Virgin” becomes an unforgettable adolescent horror story and offers one of the most brutal endings you have ever seen in a teenager sex flick. This particular plot line will remind you of one of the plots in “Fast Time at Ridgemont High,” but Davidson is not going for anything remotely like a happy ending, even short term.

My only serious complaint with this film is that the comic excesses of the first two-thirds of the film make the ending seem like a radical shift (although in terms of qualitative form it certainly sets up the ending for ultimate shock value). The ends may well justify the means, but as much as I admire the brutal honesty of the film’s conclusion I still find the transition a bit jarring. “The Last American Virgin” is an unforgettable film in an often forgettable genre of American cinema.
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Watch The Lost Boys Movie Online

February 8th, 2010 by yaritza5258842
Watch The Lost Boys Movie Online. Watch The Lost Boys Movie Online.

Movie Title: The Lost Boys
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The Lost Boys is available for streaming or downloading.

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As one of two teenage vampire movies released in 1987, (the other was the miserable “Near Dark”)”The Lost Boys,” is a hip, modern retelling of the vampire myth set in a Southern California setting. Brothers Michael (Patric) and Sam (Haim) are the newcomers to the small seaside town of Santa Clara, which is known as the murder capital of the world due to the mysterious disappearances of many town residents.

At the town’s amusement park, Michael gets himself involved with a gang of vampires, who appear as normal street punks. Meanwhile Sam, meets the Frog Brothers, who run a comic book store at night, but are vampire hunters by day. After Michael himself becomes a vampire due to drinking the blood of a vampire, he is determined to find a way to save himself, the girl he loves, and his family from the impending danger that lurks them.

Directed by Joel Schumacher (”Batman Forever,” “Batman & Robin,” “Flatliners,” etc.), the film’s appeal to teenagers is due to its young cast, great soundtrack, and great, yet campy storyline. Dianne Wiest is excellent as Michael and Sam’s mother, and Kiefer Sutherland in one of his first major roles is wicked as David, the leader of the gang.

Keep an eye out for a pre-”Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adveture” Alex Winter as Marco, one of the vampires. This film also marked the first collaboration of the two Cories, Cory Haim & Cory Feldman, in a string of movies they made together in the 1980’s (”License to Drive,” “Dream A Little Dream,” etc.) that capitalized on their teen-idol status. Reportedley, Jason Patric (who is Jackie Gleason’s grandson) hates it when fans mention this movie as one of his best works, but the truth is it still remains one of the late 1980’s cult classics.

If you like a funny, yet scary movie in the same tradition as “Scram,” then check out this movie. It gave me many memories watching it on DVD as it did when I first saw it at the theater.

When a single mother (Dianne Wiest) and her two kids (Jason Patric, Corey Haim) pack up and move from Phoenix to southern California, more specifically, Santa Carla, “the murder capital of the world,” they have more than a little bit of adjusting to do. The two teens and their mother move in with their quirky but loveable grandfather (Barnard Hughes), who has an inkling that there is more to this town than meets the eye. At first, things seem different but manageable, until Sam meets the “Frog brothers” at the local comic book shop. They hand him a horror comic about vampires and tell him to think of it as a survival manual. Are these two merely kids with an over-active imagination, or is there some supernatural cause for this odd little coastal town’s nickname?

When the older brother, Michael, goes into town for a live concert, he runs into a rather attractive woman named Star (Jami Gertz). Star introduces Michael to her friends, who just happen to be vampires, and they decide to invite Michael to be one of them. Unbeknownst to Michael, he drinks the blood of David (Kiefer Sutherland), the leader of a band of motorcycle riding teenage vampires, thus giving Michael this supernatural dark gift. However, he must make his first kill before becoming a true creature of the night. Only one thing can save Michael from an eternity of bloodsucking. The head vampire must be killed. But who is the head vampire, and can he be found before Michael gives in to temptation? Will Sam and his newfound friends be willing and able to help Michael before it’s too late?

This film is a classic, light-hearted 80’s foray into the horror genre, complete with horrible wardrobe, glam rock, goofy humor, and a stellar cast performing a great screenplay with a cohesive plot. There are indeed some great lines in this film that are quite memorable. The Frog brothers, in particular, serve as some cute comic relief. The effects and make-up are outstanding, and this is really noticeable in the final, knock-down, drag-out fight in the end of the movie. The cinematography is also really well done (for example, the aerial shots when the vampires are flying towards the house).

This movie is not meant to be taken very seriously, and it is certainly not Anne Rice or Bram Stoker by any means, but it is some great old-fashioned weekend entertainment. Overall this is a great movie that everyone who grew up in the 80’s should definitely own. Moreover, it’s a great addition to anyone’s vampire or horror collection. If you can enjoy a light-hearted romp through vampire mythology, then definitely pick this film up!

A small downside to this DVD is that there are few extras. If you merely want a great movie at a low price, then pick up this DVD. Otherwise, there is a two-disc set coming out soon that should be worth checking out!
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America’s Favorite Cars – The Complete Mustang 40th Anniversary Movie Streaming

February 8th, 2010 by yaritza5258842
America's Favorite Cars - The Complete Mustang 40th Anniversary Movie Streaming. America’s Favorite Cars – The Complete Mustang 40th Anniversary Movie Streaming.

Movie Title: America’s Favorite Cars – The Complete Mustang 40th Anniversary
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America’s Favorite Cars – The Complete Mustang 40th Anniversary is available for streaming or downloading.

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Man i cant believe the other reviews on this DVD?? IT IS AWESOME! In fact i almost didnt buy this because of the other reviews thinking it was gonna hardly show any mustangs, but it shows tons of mustangs! i mean everything from the fastbacks, shelby, Gt’s, coupes, convertibles EVERYTHING. very interesting documentary and shows pleanty of old ford commercials and plenty of awesome fastbacks (which are my favs). My father and I are currently restoring a 1969 Mach 1. And was very happy to see there was a segment just on the 69 mach 1’s. This DVD covers all the mustangs from the prototypes in 1962 to the late 80’s mustangs. I give this DVD 5 stars seeing how it is pretty much the only mustang DVD you can find plus its awesome seeing all the vintage footage of the mustangs ripping and tearing and seeing the old commercials. Even shows the real cool carol shelby commercial when he introduces his version of the mustang! Very Cool! Now lets just hope for another documentary leading up to the brand new 2005 mustangs!

If you are into Mustangs, get it.

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There isnt much out there on these icons of the Muscle Car era so be thankfull for anything.

This DVD is fantastic value at well under $10. In Australia, if it was available it would be at least $35(AU)

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A special chapter on 69’s too. As that is what I have, that was an extra bonus.

Personally I dont care if the late models are not covered, early Mustangs are the real ones!! (’should be good for a bite!!)
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Watch Gurren Lagann, Pt. 3 Movie Online

February 7th, 2010 by yaritza5258842
Watch Gurren Lagann, Pt. 3 Movie Online. Watch Gurren Lagann, Pt. 3 Movie Online.

Movie Title: Gurren Lagann, Pt. 3
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Gurren Lagann, Pt. 3 is available for streaming or downloading.

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Gurren Lagann is one of the best anime titles out there. It’s art style is what sets it apart from all the rest. This crazy hand drawn style (though I’m not entirely sure if it is hand drawn) may turn off some, but I personally dig it. I knew what to expect after buying Dead Leaves. This is a bit more tame (story wise) compared to Dead Leaves, but still off the chain none the less. The story line is great. There is a little over the top acting at times but that is kinda like the soul of this series. The whole freaking crew is over the top! And I love that about it!

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This is the final two volumes packaged as Part 3. It was worth every dollar spent, and I highly recommend it!
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The Hill Movie Streaming

February 7th, 2010 by yaritza5258842
The Hill Movie Streaming. The Hill Movie Streaming.

Movie Title: The Hill
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The Hill is available for streaming or downloading.

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One of the most intelligent and honest (not to mention beautifully filmed) movies I’ve seen in ages. Anyone depressed by Sean Connery’s recent whorishness needs to look at this one. It’s by far his greatest film.

“The Hill” that gives the movie its name is a device of torture built by prisoners in the Libyan desert: a pyramid of stone, sand and corrugated iron, which looks like a vestige of some ancient, barbaric age. Prisoners who violate the letter or “spirit” of the British Army’s antiquated rules are forced to hump double-time over the hill in full pack, in the searing mid-day sun, endlessly, until they drop. On its sides men are broken–hollowed out–and obedient robots are made.

“The Hill” is, in my opinion, the most powerful WWII film ever made–yet not one bullet is fired in its two-plus hours. The drama and the terror of this film are in the war of character, of wills: the violence of psychological destruction. If this sounds boring to you, you should know that the film draws you in quickly with its stark premise (a disgraced NCO enters a detention camp for incorrigible soldiers, and antagonizes the sadistic staff-sergeant), then cuts deeper and deeper and does not flinch for an instant. This movie has a spine harder than the sun-blasted rock of “the hill” itself.

The maniacal inflexibility of leadership–particularly in wartime, and especially among noncombatants eager to prove their “toughness”–has been the theme of several great movies. This may be the greatest. Its atmosphere is more convincing than other prison/boot-camp flicks (”Full Metal Jacket,” “Midnight Express,” etc.), and its photography and editing have enormous impact–all without resort to stylization or even a musical score. The final brilliance is in the casting. It helps, of course, that most of the actors are unfamiliar to American viewers, but even the well-known ones inhabit their roles completely. Ossie Davis, for instance, is brilliant as a Caribbean prisoner who is forced to the conclusion that his white commanders are absurd and contemptible, unworthy of his obedience.

British character actor Harry Andrews (of the equine teeth and chin) does a vivid turn as the Sergeant-Major of the prison camp. He has to carry a lot of metaphorical baggage–all the sick, ossified Victorian sanctification of rules and ritualized manliness–on his lantern-jaw, yet he carries it off with surprising subtlety. (For instance: watch his face during the aborted prison riot, when the fear creeps into his smile as he realizes his junior officer may a psychopath).

Connery, the “star” of the ensemble, is a revelation. As the officer imprisoned for having defied a homicidally stupid order–and who still could not save his men–Connery adds a hint of survivor’s guilt to the rage and perplexity simmering behind the resigned posture and sarcastic bluster. He’s a hulk of a man, a field-hardened warrior, yet his lip trembles a bit as he steps out of rank–into the killing zone of the prison disciplinarians–to give evidence against an officer suspected in an inmate’s death.

He has reason to be afraid. The officer he accuses, as played by Ian Hendry, is a meager, rail-thin fragment of a man, but what there is of him is iron-hard: a flesh and bone stiletto of cold savagery. Had a big man, like the ogreish Paul Smith of “Midnight Express,” been cast in the role, the conflict would have lost its dimensions and richness. It would have been reduced to a physical contest. Hendry’s sergeant tells us all we need know about the misuse of authority, about the inadequate, half-mad creatures who can flourish within a rigid power-structure and use it to destroy far stronger, smarter, braver men. This sergeant’s eyes hide in the shadow of his cap, and his voice and poise are almost feminine, but his chin is set and he knows the Structure’s weaknesses and rules, chapter and verse. He exploits the Army’s Victorian pieties (discipline, industry, clean-mindedness) to brutalize others, and in him those virtues become obscene.

Hendry despises the prisoner Stevens (who carries love letters from his wife) for his sentimentality, and for other, darker reasons, and he uses the Hill to exterminate him. Now we see the truth Connery saw long before, that the Devil hides in the rules, and in the absence of checks and balances insubordination may be a man’s only duty.

Unfortunately the other men cannot share his insight–or see that Hendry is just the symptom, not the disease–and the ending, as often in honest movies of this sort, is despairing. In a final, devastating twist, Connery is forced to watch helplessly as history repeats itself.

Regrettably, what is true for history does not hold for art, for films. They don’t make them like this anymore. Probably never will again.

When shall we see a DVD of this most wonderful and sadly forgotten film of uninhibited control’s–not necessarily war’s–inevitable brutality. You will uncover few richer and more vulnerable Sean Connery performances on record. But unlike most of Sean’s star vehicles, this powderkeg menaces on all fronts. One feels the tortuous heat of the punishing hill in the British prison, the strained nobility of seasoned soldiers treated with contempt by their captors, the unspoken psychological tremors beneath “Williams’” foreboding surface…

Cinematography is fabulous, lack of musical score intensifies the drama’s isolated setting.

Buy this film–campaign for the uncensored (uncut) DVD.
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Watch Invader ZIM – Progressive Stupidity Movie Online

February 7th, 2010 by yaritza5258842
Watch Invader ZIM - Progressive Stupidity Movie Online. Watch Invader ZIM – Progressive Stupidity Movie Online.

Movie Title: Invader ZIM – Progressive Stupidity
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Invader ZIM – Progressive Stupidity is available for streaming or downloading.

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As I am holding the DVD in my hand, I thought I’d provide what the specs left out….an episode listing:

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- Plague of Babies

- Bloaty’s Pizza Hog

- Door to Door

- FBI Warning of Doom

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- Bolognius Maximus

- Game Slave 2

- Battle of the Planets

- Halloween Spectacular of Spooky Doom

- Mysterious Mysteries

- Future Dib

- HOBO 13

- Walk For Your Lives

- MegaDoomer

- Lice

- Abducted

- The Sad, Sad Tale of Chickenfoot

All Great Episodes that have excellent commentary tracks.

Seeing as how quite a few of the online reviews for this particular DVD are quite hard to read, I shall provide you with brilliant (and metaphorical) insight to the wonder that is Zim.

I remember seeing the commercials for Zim on Nickelodeon and thinking that this is something worth seeing. Sadly, I didn’t get around to watching it until Nanozim came out, and I was officially hooked.

I can sum up the wonder of this series in one word: screaming.

All of the voice actors and actresses in this show scream at the top of their lungs. And it’s a proven fact that the public likes screaming.

With brilliant colors and quirky animation, this show is sure to keep the interest of people with the shortest attention spans. Being one of those people, I can vouch for that.

The reason I’m excited about this particular set…

Well, actually, there are several reasons:

1) Commentary on most of my favorite episodes. Please do not miss out on this! I never laughed so hard in my life. Jhonen has to be one of the funniest and most charming cartoonists on Earth right now. Please… please hit that button on your remote and listen to the freakin’ commentary.

2) This brings us closer to the unaired episodes!

I’ve had the privilege of seeing a few of the unaired eps and I have to say, the writing is wittier, the colors are brighter, and the acting is doomier and squishier. (Those are positive adjectives, by the way).

3) High quality versions of the all the episodes that were so horribly broadcasted on cable television.

4) Extras! Extras! And more extras!

5) At such a cheap price, it feels like I’m stealing it.

I also believe that the second volume of this series starts with Plague of Babies and goes on through until it stops at walk For Your Lives. This pleases me greatly, as some of the best episodes were towards the end of the first season.

That’s all I have to say about this DVD.

The volume practically sells itself.

And it wins a box of adhesive medical strips.
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Streaming Ernest Scared Stupid Online

February 7th, 2010 by yaritza5258842
Streaming Ernest Scared Stupid Online. Streaming Ernest Scared Stupid Online.

Movie Title: Ernest Scared Stupid
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Ernest Scared Stupid is available for streaming or downloading.

Click Here to Stream or Download Ernest Scared Stupid

Ernest is the man.

I’ve been an Ernest fan since I was a diaper clad child.
He saved Christmas, went to school, went to camp, went to Africa, and neither last nor least was SCARED STUPID.

Long live Ernest P., though Mr. Varney is no longer with us.

“Ernest Scared Stupid” is the sequel to “Ernest Goes to Jail” about the loony yet heroic Ernest P. Worrell at it again.
This time, he accindently frees Trentor the troll from his underground home. Freed, Trentor needs to seek five people and turn the into like-wooden dolls to free baby trolls and take over the Earth!
Can Ernest do what his forefather did years ago (trapping Trentor into the ground)? Watch “Ernest Scared Stupid” to find out!
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Watch Dreaming in Color Online

February 6th, 2010 by yaritza5258842
Watch Dreaming in Color Online. Watch Dreaming in Color Online.

Movie Title: Dreaming in Color
Average customer review:

Dreaming in Color is available for streaming or downloading.

Click Here to Stream or Download Dreaming in Color

I attend school with the director J. Bland and let me say that I am sooooo ecstatic that this film is available for purchase. I really think that he did a phenomenal job, being that this is his first film as a director. The actors were amazing as well….and the singing was really a showcase. Whether you are a student at FAMU, a movie buff or a ‘collector’, please support this movement/empire that J. Bland is leading.

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You did a great job James!!!!!

Blueprint for Achievement BELIEVE while others are doubting.

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PLAN while others are playing.

STUDY while others are sleeping.

DECIDE while others are delaying.

PREPARE while others are daydreaming.

BEGIN while others are procrastinating.

WORK while others are wishing.

SAVE while others are wasting.

LISTEN while others are talking.

SMILE while others are frowning.

COMMEND while others are criticizing.

PERSIST while others are quitting.”
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Hollywood Shuffle Movie Streaming

February 6th, 2010 by yaritza5258842
Hollywood Shuffle Movie Streaming. Hollywood Shuffle Movie Streaming.

Movie Title: Hollywood Shuffle
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Hollywood Shuffle is available for streaming or downloading.

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This film is a classic. When I first saw it as a kid, I just thought it was funny, not realizing that it had a message as well as being comical. I don’t know what my favorite scene is, but there are some classics such as Rambro, and Black Acting School. Keep an open mind when watching this film and try not to forget, in between laughs, that Townsend does have a serious theme about disrmination in Hollywood.

This has got to be the funniest movie I have ever watched, and the fact that Townsend put so much into getting it made makes me appreciate it even more. While the film touches on a very important subject concerning the downfalls of being a black actor, it still manages to keep the humor alive and strong. Highly recommend this film to all aspiring actors and all those who just love a good laugh.
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Beowulf Movie Streaming

February 6th, 2010 by yaritza5258842
Beowulf Movie Streaming. Beowulf Movie Streaming.

Movie Title: Beowulf
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Beowulf is available for streaming or downloading.

Click Here to Stream or Download Beowulf

Written around 700 AD and being of unknown authorship, “Beowulf” may be one of the purest fantasies ever told–it was one of the first to tell the story of a warrior who fought demons and a dragon. In the hands of director Robert Zemeckis and screenwriters Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary, the story transcends what we might have envisioned when reading the epic poem. This latest film adaptation is a triumph of classic storytelling, giving us a both hero to root for and monsters to be afraid of; it’s a story told in the language of entertainment, having the power to capture its audience with compelling characters and breathtaking visuals. It’s an honest to goodness fable that tells it like it is, completely free of long-winded setups and complicated details.

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Relying on the same motion capture technique he utilized in “The Polar Express,” Zemeckis has crafted an entirely computer generated film that has an appropriately surreal look. This is especially true of the characters, which exist in a gray area between the realistic and the fantastic; they don’t look phony by any means, but they’re not completely authentic, either. I suppose part of this can be blamed on the limits of computer technology, which still isn’t able to fool an audience despite major advances. The thing is, I don’t think the film should have looked too realistic, simply because it’s telling an unrealistic story. “Beowulf” is a purely imaginative piece, and as such, the film needed a purely imaginative look. Zemeckis chose to make the entire thing one big special effect–there are no individual effects that enhance live-action scenes.

Taking place in the sixth century, Ray Winstone voices the title character with the perfect mix of pride, arrogance, and youthful impulsiveness. He also gives Beowulf a hard-edged masculinity that’s just as expected as it is cliché. Upon hearing that a monster is terrorizing a Danish kingdom, Beowulf and his Geat men come to the rescue. His motives are purely ego driven–he only wants to fight in glorious battle and be remembered for it. Stories of his past battles make this clear because they’re all so dramatic, downright boastful. Basically, it’s obvious that he’s exaggerating practically everything he says to make himself look more like a hero. All arrogance aside, he does believe himself capable of killing the creature that attacked the mead hall of the drunken, disgraced King Hrothgar (Anthony Hopkins) and the quiet, suspicious Wealthow (Robin Wright Penn).

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This creature is Grendel (Crispin Glover), a character that, like Frankenstein’s Monster, is hideous yet pathetic. He’s a grotesque sight to behold: he’s massive, hunched over, and deformed, bearing little if any resemblance to a human being. His soft, pitiful voice–which speaks in a Scandinavian tongue–is pretty much his only connection to the rest of us. Here’s a character that’s truly nightmarish in appearance. And when his anger is added to the mix, it gets even worse; he loses control at the sounds of merrymaking, forcing him to retreat from his cave and attack the mead hall. As he breaks through the wooden door, the orange flames in the fire pit become a cold blue that engulf everything surrounding it. Beowulf is able to lure Grendel back by making his men sing, after which the two engage in fierce combat. Because Grendel has no armor or weapons, Beowulf decides to “fight him on equal terms” by stripping completely naked. How this was necessary, I have no idea, but I guess it doesn’t really matter.

It’s only after the battle is finished that Beowulf learns of Grendel’s mother (Angelina Jolie), a seductive water demon whose feminine curves are accented by shifting slivers of gold paint. Her hair ends as a living, tentacle-like ponytail, and her feet are naturally high heeled. When Beowulf first meets her, he carries a golden horn given by Hrothgar as a gift; in the presence of Grendel’s mother, the horn glows like molten metal, just as the water she emerges from becomes a phosphorescent blue. In this strange yet magically erotic atmosphere, she temps Beowulf with promises of fame and fortune. At what price, no one can say, but considering how fiercely protective she was of her son, I think it’s safe to assume that it’ll be quite high.

When the film flashes forward by a number of years, signs of Beowulf’s age are not the only differences–his views on glory, battle, and fame have changed, forcing him to wonder if his years of arrogance were worth it. At one time, he would scream, “I am Beowulf!” at the drop of a hat, but now, there doesn’t seem to be any reason to do that anymore. It doesn’t help that he’s keeping a big secret, one he’s held onto for many years. The arrival of a monstrous fire-breathing dragon brings his past back up to the surface, and he must face it whether or not he’s ready to.

But to face his past is to redefine what it means to be a hero. The young Beowulf believed it was all about winning battles, but the older Beowulf begins to feel that there’s something more to it, something that doesn’t rely on physical brute force and bloodshed. In Zemeckis’ film, Beowulf is just like any character on a Hero’s Journey: he matures as his quest nears its end. He looks back on what he’s been through and is able to draw strength from it. This well-established narrative formula is one of the things that make “Beowulf” an incredibly enjoyable film; it follows the most basic rules of fantasy storytelling, which is both necessary and effective. This movie thoroughly accomplishes what it set out to accomplish–it’s an engaging, exciting, and highly artistic vision, made with style and precision. Odin be praised.

Beowulf is a great story, it would not have lasted over thousand years if it wasn’t. This 2007 all CGI version deviates considerably from the original story’s truest and perhaps even its most enduring elements. The villain Grendel is portrayed as if we have the opportunity to sympathize with him. I remember upon his first attack in this film thinking that the Grendel from the epic poem would never have been so bold as to attack while his enemies were not asleep. Never would he come face to face with King Hrothgar on his throne. He is a cowardly and vile monster. I also remember studying Beowulf and thinking that this is the ultimate pagan hero. Courageous even if to a fault, boisterously politicizing himself to the gods by listing off each of his own unearthly tasks, challenging any evil no matter what it may be, even if it looks exactly like a naked Angelina Jolie. Most of all, he was to be a shining example of pride and honesty. It’s funny, until now I never realized how I may have idolized Beowulf during my High School readings but just like those young pagan lads a thousand years ago listening to tales of the great warrior around a giant bonfire, I guess in a way I did and still do. The Beowulf we get here is tricked and tormented and his time as king is essentially based on deception. He is flawed in ways that make him less a hero.

There is something to admire in that fearless definition of heroism held up high in the original tale. Something even more endearing about this ultimate clash between good and evil. Something got lost in the transition from ancient Anglo-Saxon scribes to the capable pens of Neil Gaiman and Roger Avery, who wrote the solid but fundamentally flawed screenplay. Their writing makes for a great popcorn movie but I’m quite sure English scholars are not so impressed. In fact, this will definitely not and should not be shown by teachers or professors to compliment the study of this epic poem.

Still, Beowulf as a film is a back-to-back feast for the eyes. It is a beautiful film and I also believe its style to be a worthy standard to uphold for other action filmmakers in the years to come. I was worried right off that bat that Beowulf would be a two-hour video game cut scene, but it manages to transcend that judgement with time. The characters may be quasi-cartoon but they still hold more spirit than many cartoons have the ability to by far. Ray Winstone is Beowulf and his demeanor is nearly perfect. Anthony Hopkins and John Malkovich, as Hrothgar and Unferth respectively, both shine through their computerized characters more than enough. Both actors bring the overall performances in this film to attention, as both are just that good at their craft. Crispin Glover manages Grendel fantastically and the Grendel here is quite visually satisfying considering I’ve never had a strong enough imagination to picture Grendel myself based on the descriptions in literature. Angelina Jolie is certainly good enough for her role, as flawed as it may be. Grendel’s mother is actually the character changed most of all, but as a separate villain from the epic poem, the character is not only crucial to Gaiman and Avery’s story, but actually quite effective. Oh yes, and what epic film with bearded warriors would be complete without everyone’s favorite brute from the early middle ages, Brendan Gleeson (as Wiglaf)?!

Overall, it is a tribute in some ways to the great story but on the other hand the way it sacrifices the purity of its characters just to create a convenient story, a gripping visual style, and a well-packaged blockbuster troubles me enough to only give a slight recommendation. Also, wait for this on blu-ray if you want it (if it ever comes in that format), I really can’t see any reason not to unless you need it right away. There is an HD DVD version available.
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